The Expendables Eat, Pray, Love Twilight and James Cameron

The Expendables (2010 film)
Image via Wikipedia

MovieSucktastic Episode #19 salutes the male movie-going audiences of America!

As anyone paying attention to the never ending battle between Box Office Testosterone and Cinematic Estrogen knows, this past weekend saw the ultimate battle of the sexes take place in the Box Office, with the winner being determined by the yardstick of success that all Americans can agree on: Cold Hard Cash. The results were a major blow to the “Hollywood doesn’t need to blow things up to make money” crowd, as The Expendables blew the ever-loving hell out of everything in site to the tune of $12,000,000 more than Julia Roberts‘ gelato-loving, soul-searching, globe-trotting feelings-fest Eat Pray Love. And that’s without any 3D money padding the ticket sales. Eat that, Cameron!

Unfortunately, MovieSucktastic host Joey was not on hand to share in the chest-thumping celebrations. While his triumphant return to the recording of Episode #18 was a great step forward, Joey is still dealing with the long-term emotional and psychological side-effects of being kidnapped and partially brainwashed by obsessive Avatar fanatics. His progress was coming along nicely, but an unfortunate incident involving leftover Chinese food and a late-night screening of The Fifth Element left him in a confused and agitated state of Na’vi regression. So while Joey is finally back, his participation in the show’s recording will continue to be sporadic for the near future. You can’t rush these things after all.

Scott trudged bravely along, however, blazing new ground as he read some poorly-written listener hate-mail during the show’s second half. It seems that an angry Twilight fan took him up on his challenge to the hordes of Twilight Tweens to sound of against him for his harsh review of Twilight: New Moon. Scott performs a dramatic reading of the letter then responds to it, although not as harshly as one might expect.

To round things up, Scott introduces a new expletive-laden feature to the show, and enters James Cameron as the first honorary subject. Cameron made some rather ill-advised comments about 3D films and Kathryn Bigelow‘s Hurt Locker Oscar win in a recent interview with Entertainment Weekly, and Scott eagerly pounces on these telling Cameron Quotes, using them as yet another excuse to openly insult the man now worshiped by millions of misguided Avatar fans. His comments, while insightful, are not recommended for small children, clergy, or those with a weak and easily offended constitution. But then again, what’s new?

Scott’s celebration of Manliness and James Cameron hate-fest can be listened to or downloaded from iTunes, Podcast Alley, Podcast.com or MovieSucktastic.com.

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